The Moronist

NYT- Tuesday 8:53am- New York. Phillip Buckberm was shot in the neck with a doughnut early this morning at a local coffee shop on 2nd avenue and 10th street. He sustained a doughnut-type bruise on his neck, and a temporary bump in his blood sugar level (from eating the aforementioned donut).

 
———————————————-
In other news, a couple that met on E-Harmony ended up totally hating each other (contrary to what their advertisements will have you believe).

You gotta give it up to the homeowner eh?

Yes it was dangerous, what he did, but pretty cool move. Reminds me of the playground antic, “You take my ball, I’ll date your cousin!”

COURTESY OF NPR. (For those without video here’s the story):
Morning Edition, February 16, 2009 · A Washington state man foiled the burglars in his house by stealing their getaway car. The Seattle Times reports that Patrick Rosario was in the basement when he heard somebody upstairs. He sneaked out of the house, and when he discovered a white van parked in front of his house with the motor running, he drove away in it. The burglars were forced to drop the TVs, computer and jewelry they were stealing and run away on foot.

Love,

Moron,

But… an amazingly long post coming later today.

Thanks to MLWMoran for the recommended pic.

All the love,

Idiomoron

“Slumdog Millionaire“ - The Story of Leona Helmsley’s dog, “Trouble,” and her climb from a litter of ten to the top of the dog world. Linky.

“Frost/Nixon“ - They took a Cynthia Nixon bio-pic and the movie Jack Frost and edited them together.
Or it may be a remake of Anthony Hopkins’ Nixon with “*Nsync like” frosted tips.

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” - A sequel to the book Corduroy, from the perspective of a button looking for his bear.

“The Reader” - A documentary about Sylvan Learning Center.

“Milk“ - Morgan Spurlock and Al Gore’s latest doc, on the effects of the over-lactization of the US and its subsequent methane effects.

And two bonuses:

“The Wrestler” - A prequel to “The Reader:” The story of a child grappling with the word “teh.”

“The Dark Knight.” - Martin Lawrence already did this movie, and it was called “Black Knight.” Nice try Chris Nolan, but it’s been done.

I’m sick and tired of people saying, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Here are a few examples of things that don’t kill you but really weaken you quite a bit…

1) Not Weight Lifting

2) Online scrabble; I have played way to many games of this and have not gotten much better at all. Instead of getting stronger… I have just learned a bunch of 2 letter words and words that start with Q and Z, without learning their definitions. Not only this, I am now the douche that kicks ass at scrabble and makes it not fun.

3) Paper Routes through a Swarm of Bees. That does make you stronger, (unless you’re the boy from the movie my girl - then it does kill you).

see more pwn and owned pictures
Thanks Dr. Zizmor.