The Moronist

But… an amazingly long post coming later today.

Thanks to MLWMoran for the recommended pic.

All the love,

Idiomoron

“Slumdog Millionaire“ – The Story of Leona Helmsley’s dog, “Trouble,” and her climb from a litter of ten to the top of the dog world. Linky.

“Frost/Nixon“ – They took a Cynthia Nixon bio-pic and the movie Jack Frost and edited them together.
Or it may be a remake of Anthony Hopkins’ Nixon with “*Nsync like” frosted tips.

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” – A sequel to the book Corduroy, from the perspective of a button looking for his bear.

“The Reader” – A documentary about Sylvan Learning Center.

“Milk“ – Morgan Spurlock and Al Gore’s latest doc, on the effects of the over-lactization of the US and its subsequent methane effects.

And two bonuses:

“The Wrestler” – A prequel to “The Reader:” The story of a child grappling with the word “teh.”

“The Dark Knight.” – Martin Lawrence already did this movie, and it was called “Black Knight.” Nice try Chris Nolan, but it’s been done.

I’m sick and tired of people saying, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Here are a few examples of things that don’t kill you but really weaken you quite a bit…

1) Not Weight Lifting

2) Online scrabble; I have played way to many games of this and have not gotten much better at all. Instead of getting stronger… I have just learned a bunch of 2 letter words and words that start with Q and Z, without learning their definitions. Not only this, I am now the douche that kicks ass at scrabble and makes it not fun.

3) Paper Routes through a Swarm of Bees. That does make you stronger, (unless you’re the boy from the movie my girl – then it does kill you).

see more pwn and owned pictures
Thanks Dr. Zizmor.

You guys, I have to tell you about what happened at the mall today. C, T, and I were by the Cinnabon, just relaxing as usual. When Bill Gunningson showed up… he looked so tall and thin (as usual), and he totally offered to give us a ride home. But I was like, “No, I’m cool,” cause I knew that’d only make him like me more. Anyway after that we went over to Spencer’s Gifts and bought some fake slime and candy cigarettes, and I totally flirted with the guy at the register. Then my mom picked us up and we watched Family Matters till about 930pm (Eddie Winslow is so a guy I’d date especially if i could wear his varsity jacket (lol). But anyway, now here I am, wondering if Bill will page me anytime soon or if I’m going to have to do the “talk to him before he talks to me route” (so dreading that).

Ok you guys, I have to get to bed, but have a great night and love you all,

Me

The Trojan Condom post below made it on to a late night talk show! Yay. Love- Moron

Hello Human beings, I think it’s time to tell you about a magazine I recently had the (sarcastic) pleasure to peruse, it’s called Palm Beach Illustrated (just like sports illustrated but replace Sports with Palm Beach) It, like many other frou-frou magazines, is about 90% ads, but I have to say when you get this niche-y, the ads get even more insular and hilarious. This is the ad I would imagine them having in the next few months,

“Only read if you’re extremely wealthy or have really good credit…
Imagine if you will a world where crystal encrusted toilets are common. Imagine if you will, that this toilet is especially difficult to keep up. Even better for you cause you can feel great knowing that you pay someone pennies to clean said toilet and to fix the hangy thing on it occasionally. Buy this toilet from us. We won’t tell you the price unless you call us up and give us an idea of how much money you have (or think you have). Thanks for reading or having this advertisement read to you. -PriceyPoopers.org (fake site).”

And on a related, funnier cause it’s true note, check out this news on John Thain, former head of Merrill Lynch who spent $35,000 on a commode. Linky Link..

So by now, the 7 of you reading this blog have seen the “I’m On A Boat” video from SNL (see below), but how many of you agree with me that this is a bit of a rip off “Boats ‘N Hoes” from the little known indie feature Step Brothers? (see below-er):

I could be wrong, but I see some striking similarities. (Just cause Jonathan Charles Riley and William Gates Ferrell can’t afford to have a celebrity like T-Pain in their Video, it doesn’t mean their idea wasn’t fantastic and hilarial. I just feel that it’d be like making a movie about a son taking a road-trip selling autoparts for his dad’s business and calling it Tammy Boy. (warning crude language below):

Improvements to post below coming soon. Love, TM